My precious energy

This week I bought myself a uniform.

As a mum with lots to do, my overloaded brain can no longer cope with deciding what to wear every day.

Decision fatigue is a thing it turns out.

And you only have a finite number you can make every day before you start to burn out.

Now some people like clothes and fashion, and choosing something different and cool to wear every day is part of their self care. If this is you, that’s great. Keep it up.

For me it’s a bloody ballache and I have spent way too long throwing on whatever, and then realising at 4pm I’ve looked like crap all day.

Or making that time in the mornings to choose something I like, and then being annoyed I’ve just lost time doing it.

So I found a T-shirt and pants I look good in and bought lots of them. I have three different colours in the tops and two in the pants.

Maybe it’s weird, and I will prob feel self conscious rocking up to the school run in the same thing after a couple of weeks, but Mark Zuckerberg does it so it’s good enough for me.

I’m also trialing HelloFresh meals because I also burn a lot of my weekly decisions deciding what to cook and what to buy at the supermarket.

And it’s boring.

And I don’t make good decisions and I get bored of what we eat. And the kids always hate it anyway.

So I’m letting the good people at HelloFresh have a stab.

I have to make three small decisions the week before by opening my app and choosing three out of the seven choices on offer.

And then that’s it.

They send me the ingredients with a step-by-step recipe sheet and I just do what I’m told.

So far it’s been ok.

The kids have even eaten some.

[If you’d like to try then contact me with your email address stating it’s about HelloFresh and I can send you a deal, as they like friends to share with friends!]

These two changes have come about because I have a new-found awareness that my energy is precious.

It’s precious because there’s only so much of it.

And it’s precious because it’s MINE.

I think us women are educated by the University of Life to give way too many f**ks about everything and everyone. Way more than men are expected to give. And the cumulative effect of giving all these f**ks all the time, is that our FINITE amount of energy is being sprayed all over the floor.

Precious energy. Wasted.

Now I am someone who has ALWAYS thought they have to hold the threads of everyone’s lives together, so I’ve been using my finite energy for decades, making sure other people are ok. And doing everything I can.

Without worrying whether I am ok first.

And other people have let me do this. Because I make things easier for them.

I’ve said things to myself such as: ‘someone has to’, and ‘if you want anything done, it’s easier to do it yourself’.

Which is true.

But now I’m looking at the bigger picture and understanding that I don’t like feeling like a servant.

And I’ve got stuff I like doing.

And things I want to achieve.

And that takes time. MY precious time.

And it seems that us women collectively are only just starting to realise that a lot of us feel this way.

Articles about the mental load and the percentage of unpaid labour are all over our newsfeeds now.

And we’re starting to get ANGRY.

Personally, I am becoming very protective of my precious energy.

I already have to give a large percentage of it to my kids. Which I love and appreciate the chance to do.

But I now I try to make sure I give enough to myself – things that make me happy and things which help me reach my goals – before I give to other things and people.

And I’m clearing the deck of energy vampires.

Which can come in the form of people – as illustrated by this great Goalcast video on Facebook – as well as wearing clothes and making meals.

Please contact me and tell me if you have any other ways to conserve your precious energy. I’d love to know ALL OF THEM. And maybe share them on this blog with your permission.


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